Most of us have allowed our inner critics to do extraordinary things, writes author Andy Andrews. It does not have to be that way.
Summer between fourth and fifth grade, Andy Andrews writes in his new book The Bottom of the Pool, he and his friends spend most of their time in a local pool where they invented a game called Dolphin. The goal: to see who can move the highest above the surface, as dolphins do.
All the kids did this in the same way, pushing their legs against the water, and they were all pretty good at it - until one of them, Kevin, leaped far higher than anyone else. As? At first he dived as far as he could, plunging from the bottom of the pool, using the extra momentum to rocket into the sky.
"By changing our understanding and conviction what was possible, Kevin actually changed the game," Andrews writes.
In the bottom of the pool, he claims that anyone can do the same - if we allow ourselves to rethink the (usually self-imposed and self-limiting) rules of the game. The book, subtitled Thinking beyond Your Borders for Exceptional Results, describes Andrew's strategies for calming that nagging inner voice that always points out that it's impossible to do what you really want or how you want to get there. "Watch what you think you know," he advises, "because you can not always believe everything you think."
Andrews is a speaker and consultant who moderates a popular podcast titled "The Professional Noticer". He coaches professional athletes, executives, and entrepreneurs on how to find the metaphorical bottom of the pool to prevent us from "the way everyone else always does". "I'm not trying to tell people how to think," says Andrews. "Instead, I help them find the strengths they already have."
Most people never go to the bottom of the pool in an interview. That is, they rehearse answers to common questions without worrying much about the true reasons why someone is hired and someone else is not. It's too easy to turn the entire conversation around your experience, credentials, and more. Until you sit in this place, the interviewee has looked at your CV. He or she already knows that you are technically qualified, that's not the point.
You need to research your interviewer online in advance and find a real personal connection - not just something that you can mention together, but something that is important to you both. It has to be sincere. Convince them that you are someone they want to be with.
I always liked Stephen Covey's quote "First understand, then be understood". The heart of communication is listening. For example, one of the biggest challenges at work is constructive criticism. To do this effectively, without alienating the other person, you have to slow down and listen.
Ask many questions. Why does he or she do things in a certain way? How does he define the result he is trying to produce, or how does he see the situation? Show concern. What is important to this person? Then explain your point of view and why you might need it to change whatever it is. This of course takes longer than just saying, "Hey, stop that!". But if you really want someone to change their behavior, you can not do everything about them.
Two things: First, when you're trying to "sell" an idea, remember that people will think, "What's in it for me?" So think about how your idea might benefit your team. Your boss, including your entire company. Be ready to explain to all concerned what is included. And second, you have many facts and figures to support your idea. If possible, estimate how much time or money your idea would save or otherwise quantify. Make your case a reasonable doubt.
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This is one of the reasons why so much is written in this book about how to trust your imagination. I have coached a number of people who have managed to start a brand new business based on what they like to do. The first step is to ask yourself if money is not an object, what would I do all day? Then - and that's the key question - what value does it have for other people? Not who would tell you, but what value does it have or could it have?
Once you've identified the potential value, you're halfway there. Find out who wants what you offer and contact him. You can start slowly and build on your idea over time. Nowadays, the Internet makes it so much easier to speak and find the people who see the value in it.
I believe that there is, and it goes back to good communication. A friend of mine, a songwriter, likes to say, "Everything is already said." Everything! The trick, then, is to express it in a memorable way that overcomes disorder and noise and attracts people's attention. Songwriters have to do that in two and a half minutes!
If you do not really understand a problem or an idea, you can not express it well. So, first research and think about what you want to say. Then find a new way of expressing it, convincing enough to get the people - your boss, for example - to hear it. Think of it as Twitter, where you gain followers by being intriguing and surprising. Be interesting.
Do you always convince yourself that you will never find a job? Stop holding back. Take the first step by signing up to Monster for free today. As a member, not only will you receive job notifications via e-mail directly to your inbox, reducing your time spent searching through ads, but you can also upload up to five versions of your resume - each tailored to different types of resumes that interest you. Recruiters are looking for Monster every day to fill top jobs with qualified candidates, just like you.
Anne Fisher has been writing about career and workplace trends and issues since 1994. She is a columnist for Fortune.com and author of "When My Career Is in the Fast Lane, Where Can I Get a Road Map?".
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